My day is hurting me, Sally said to her brother Ned, who looked with compassionate eyes on his sister’s plight. Why don’t you throw some rocks in the pond for catharsis, said Ned in thoughtful kindness. So she picked up the biggest she could find and lobbed it into the water.
“Martha Stewart ain’t turning her own damn lampshades! Her lampshades may get turned, but she’s not doing it,” says Mr. Blankenship this fine summer evening when I read him Martha’s August 2010 calendar. I love the detail yet complete absurdity of her monthly calendars. I mean, I’m not saying I don’t have a calendar that looks suspiciously like the block-style one I toted on the front of my middle school binder, only now with auspicious events like Craft Time and Meal Planning listed, because I do, but that’s not the point. Somewhere deep down I think we all aspire to be the person Martha portrays herself to be, relaxed yet in control. But really, the moment she starts writing “Rotate lampshades to avoid uneven fading” as an event on August 24, I realize what type of person gets herself thrown in jail for lying about insider trading.
Falsehoods aside, Martha Stewart Living feeds the OCD housewife in me, and I love it. Daydreaming about throwing fabulous candlelit dinners for 10-20 guests and serving homegrown vegetables alongside grassfed beef on tables draped in linen lovingly stitched by me… I mean, how else would I spend a Saturday afternoon? Thank you, Martha, for bringing housewifery back.