Martha’s Life
“Martha Stewart ain’t turning her own damn lampshades! Her lampshades may get turned, but she’s not doing it,” says Mr. Blankenship this fine summer evening when I read him Martha’s August 2010 calendar. I love the detail yet complete absurdity of her monthly calendars. I mean, I’m not saying I don’t have a calendar that looks suspiciously like the block-style one I toted on the front of my middle school binder, only now with auspicious events like Craft Time and Meal Planning listed, because I do, but that’s not the point. Somewhere deep down I think we all aspire to be the person Martha portrays herself to be, relaxed yet in control. But really, the moment she starts writing “Rotate lampshades to avoid uneven fading” as an event on August 24, I realize what type of person gets herself thrown in jail for lying about insider trading.
Falsehoods aside, Martha Stewart Living feeds the OCD housewife in me, and I love it. Daydreaming about throwing fabulous candlelit dinners for 10-20 guests and serving homegrown vegetables alongside grassfed beef on tables draped in linen lovingly stitched by me… I mean, how else would I spend a Saturday afternoon? Thank you, Martha, for bringing housewifery back.
Bee Spears Sings “Okie from Muskogee”
Ladies and gentlemen, this is my cousin. He is this awesome in real life.
Couples Aprons
Some of my latest crafty creations. You and your man/woman can be domestically matchy!
New Computer, New Life
I don’t know if I can convey the delight, joy, peace, freedom, giggles, etc. that I feel at having a new laptop that WORKS! Really friends, I feel like the world is my oyster. I can actually watch videos! Or, get this, RECORD them. Or, if I want to, I can listen to music, type an email, and have like two other programs running at the same time (possibly even more).
The limits of old technology no longer bind my creativity. This is exciting. The possibilities are endless!
Unfulfilled Goals, Boo
New Year’s resolutions are usually total bummers because our human nature (often) disallows the following through on commitments we make. Thus Mr. Blankenship doesn’t make New Year’s resolutions, only aspirations. I quit making them some time ago as well. However, I do like to set small attainable goals. And I get really mad when I cannot attain them.
All this to say, the aprons I promised at the beginning of the week have not prevailed. I was SO on track by Tuesday. One apron down, four to go! But then life happened. And now I’m on my way to Texas to be with my dying Grandfather.
How do you deal with failed commitments and unfulfilled goals? How do you pick yourself up again and start over? Is late really better than never? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Christmas Time!
Is anyone else SUPER-excited about Christmas? While I do not love the cold of winter, I do love decorating my home according to a theme and creating meaningful and silly traditions. Growing up, our family’s tradition was not to have any––making way for the much lamented and decorated “Christmas Trunk” in lieu of a Christmas tree when I was twelve––so celebrating the season the way my husband and I choose means a lot.
We just ordered a very mid-century mod aluminum Christmas tree to compliment this year’s gold, silver, Tiffany blue, and red color scheme. Christmas music plays in the living room every day. I have procured my clementine oranges, Whole Food’s chocolate truffles, and tea to savor together. I’m planning presents to purchase and make. The stockings are hung on the mantle. And this is just the beginning.
What are your favorite Christmas traditions? And which ones do you want to begin?
Why Ignoring One’s Blog Is Cathartic But Ultimately Useless
That is to say, it’s useless if you ultimately want to continue writing on said blog. If you don’t care about your blog, then ignoring it is a perfectly reasonable decision. If, however, like me, you enjoy the exercise of writing and sharing your thoughts, ignoring your blog is only a temporary solution to incomplete ideas that are in their current state unpublishable. Sure, take a break. But don’t give up! Don’t be frustrated by the disheartening reality of ancient computer hardware that makes writing arduous. Continually neglecting your blog only makes you feel like a failure. But writing even silly things builds one little success on top of another. And that is something to look back on with joy and pride.
On Fashion Magazines & the Over-Mystification of Style
I like fashion. Actually I love fashion. I see it as a medium by which to express myself as an artist. But I am merely a novice, slowly learning the language of style and putting together visual sentences with care and apprehension.
In my quest to learn the language of style, I turn to what most would consider to be the dictionary, the Fashion Magazine. There I hope to learn the definitions of words, the visual signifiers that describe what clothes and accessories are and do. For instance: What is a bias cut dress, and why does it look good on some women and not others? Why does bright green look good on me and beige make me look sick? What is matte jersey, and why do I hate it? Why do most models have the bodies of 12-year-old boys? Why are tiny purses with long straps suddenly back in fashion? Who is Vivienne Westwood?
But instead of finding the answers to these questions, I encounter more words and images of which I don’t know the definitions, and other words to describe them that make no sense. My least favorite and the most overly-used word in fashion magazines: effortless. This is apparently the holy grail of what all women want in clothes. That “throw it on and leave without looking in the mirror” mystique that only Audrey Hepburn and Kate Moss seem able to achieve. Fashion virtuosos aside, I doubt even the most stylish of celebrities achieves their look without some good, hard work at some point. Discovering one’s body type, color palette, and taste takes work. I don’t care who you are.
All this to say, the very place I turn to discover what fashion means to me only serves to over-mystify the entire concept. I want to know how a one-shouldered dress is made or why a designer was inspired by Greco-Roman themes, not how Pantene Pro-V is going to help me wear a one-shouldered ensemble with confidence. That’s ridiculous. That kind of propaganda makes me think I can only be fashionable if I look like a five-foot-ten-inch model with long black or gold tresses, or if I had enough money to get liposuction, or if I had more money period. The writers of fashion magazines and the advertising that supports them want me to be in a state of constant dissatisfaction with who I am so that they can make money. And who can blame them? It’s a clever strategy. But it is dishonest and ultimately makes me mistrust everything they say.
I think fashion magazines would do better (as some have begun, but only meagerly) to teach their readers about the fashion industry and give them the tools to achieve their own personal style. Just because the archetype of the beautiful figure has changed over the past 100 years from plump and womanly to anorexic and emaciated doesn’t mean you can’t look good in what designers are putting in stores these days. It just means you need to arm yourself with the right information and devices to make them work for you–e.g. your body type, your color palette, your most flattering fabrics & fits, and your most important weapon, a tailor.
Armed with these tools, I know that bias cut dresses don’t usually look good on me because my Latina pear-shaped-ness makes the fabric fall weird; matte jersey seems like it’s always cut on the bias, and I don’t like its gritty feel; my winter complexion means I look best in jewel tones; tiny purses are back because the powers-that-be said they were; Vivienne Westwood made punk a style; and I look awesome in high-waisted, tailored jeans.
Who Does She Think She Is?
It’s a film about women struggling to live as wives/mothers AND artists. It is exactly what I am trying to figure out, and I don’t even have kids yet.
The Impact of Movie Lines on Feelings About the Approaching Season
“Don’t you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.”
So goes one of my favorite lines from the 1998 Tom Hanks / Meg Ryan classic, You’ve Got Mail. Today feels like the perfect day to buy school supplies. It’s overcast and drizzly, summer is almost gone, and I just got back from a big vacation abroad. How very Bonnie Wheeler of me. (Bonnie was my medieval studies professor at university who always spent her summers in France at a monastery with her likewise professorial husband.)
There is something magical about this time of year. The urge to be intellectually and creatively productive is immense.
I also just bought a new blazer that will be perfect for fall and a puffy coat that would have been perfect for life in Boston. So the desire for autumnal weather is strong.
Go buy yourself some new pencils. It will feel good.
